odds are i'm fucking your boyfriend

quietly over the past few days i've been going through this journal that has become invaluable to me and locking things up. i sent e-mails to the friends i know that read me letting them know that they will no longer be able to check up on me with as much ease as they have in the past. there are a few reasons why this is all going down. if you really want to know, feel free to ask, but i'm sure you can figure it out. regardless, with going through each entry one by one, i'm also reading them. i'm amazed at how much i've grown since starting this silly thing. where i once just posted code from quizzes like "which sex and the city character are you?", i'm spilling my guts. posts have become my therapy that i've allowed you to participate in for a few years. you guys know when i'm in love and when i'm a shattered mess. i dig the whole confessing thing. going back through the old posts i often wondering who certain things were about. i've tagged some entries "some guy" (there are 4 so far) because the person i thought was my moon god is now long forgotten. i've also laughed out loud about some things- like a post about licking chickens to get high. even though operation lock down is taking forever (we're talking over 1,190 posts here, kids) and is oftentimes upsetting, it's a very cool experience. i often go back to the beginning of the sex journal and re-read everything. it's totally hot, don't get me wrong, but i also like to see how my writing has been transformed into something not only sexy, but beautiful. my words blow me away and that's an incredible feeling. i realize not many have access to the sex journal, so you'll just have to trust me or ask to be let in.

i probably should have done this a long time ago to save so much drama. the moment someone asked me, and it's been a few someones, to censor myself, i should have locked this bitch up. the whole idea of random people reading me turned me on though. for now, i'll get my kicks elsewhere i suppose.

it is here i am most comfortable.
it is here i confess my sins.
it is here i am judged.
it is here i fantasize, live out my dreams, and learn.

If you are a dreamer, come in.
If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar,
A hope-er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer . . .
If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire,
For we have some flax golden tales to spin.
Come in!
Come in!
-shel silverstein











from now on, this is mostly friends only.








*actually written 4/20/06

MillerCoors ends production of Zima
Associated Press
12:54 PM CDT, October 20, 2008
MILWAUKEE - MillerCoors LLC says goodbye to Zima.

The joint venture between SABMiller's U.S. unit and Molson Coors Brewing Co. told distributors in a letter Monday that production of the malt liquor beverage was discontinued as of Oct. 10.

Chief Marketing Officer Andy England says the decision was due to weakness in the "malternative" segment and declining consumer interest.

He says distributors can get remaining Zima inventories most likely through December.

Distributors are being asked to put products from caffeinated alcoholic beverage Sparks on retail store shelves to make up for Zima's absence.

The brand came to the joint venture from Molson Coors, maker of Coors Light and Keystone.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/business/chi-ap-millercoors-zima,0,2476865.story

It's a sad day for teenage Anne...oh Zima, how I'll miss you! You were such a lame drink, but drop a jolly rancher in and awesomeness ensued :(

there is something so completely awesome about how tiny but perfect she is...
it's almost unfortunate that i have to point out her baby tracking device

my ipod ear buds hurt my ear bits.
i have tiny canals.

so it's customary for me on these trips home to chicago to stay up way late on my mom's laptop searching for downloadable music that would make a stranger think i was very cool and hip if they found my ipod.

i clearly remember being OBSESSED with this song,"stay" by shakespear's sister as an innocent 12 year old. i'm telling you i bought the cassette single and listened to it over and over again. i can't believe i found it on a site.

i'm sitting here smiling with tears in my eyes (and listening to it for the third time)
...how funny is that?

No you won't find love in a,
Won't find love in a hole
It takes more than fucking someone
To keep yourself warm

I'm drunk, I'm drunk
And you're probably on pills
If we both got the same diseases
It's irrelevant girl
In the room is the steam
It evaporates, disappears
My point of entry is the same way
That I'll leave

Can you see in the dark?
Can you see the look on your face?
The flashing white light's been turned off
You don't know know who's in your bed
It takes more than fucking someone you don't know
To keep warm
Do you really think that for a house beat
You'll find your love in a hole

frightened rabbit- keep yourself warm
you really should listen

total guilty pleasure
totally
Now if she does it like this, will you do it like that? Now if she touches like this, will you touch her right back? Now if she moves like this, will you move it like that?

i've loved this song for a while now
Styrofoam - Couches In Alleys feat. Ben Gibbard

right now i can listen to these two songs over and over

time to pretend by MGMT

kids by MGMT

listen or download...no pressure.

excellent piece of satire

A week ago in Internet time is like last century. Even so, it seemed worth putting up this video satire that Gerard Baker of the Times (of London) narrates and that was aired on Hannity and Colmes, the Fox News Channel show, last week. (I didn't see it until over the weekend.)

The satire, which uses a lot of footage from Obama's recent trip abroad, makes Sen. Barack Obama into a messianic figure called The Child, in much the way Jesus was the baby born in a manger who became The Messiah. It plays off the notion of Obamassiah, the charge made by critics that many of his followers have turned him almost into a divinity capable of far more than the usual presidential candidate.

The satire obviously means to dim some of the aura surrounding Obama. It's fairly funny in spots. Even some Obama supporters with a sense of humor might get a laugh or two from it.
from the swamp

as an obama supporter with a sense of humor, i did in fact laugh a few times.

ps. holy shit, my first youtube video- stop the presses!

you fuck like a porn star he tells her
it's one of the nicest compliments she's ever received
he stares at her mouth as she laughs and stares up at imperfections in the ceiling
i love you he says
i know

9th Circuit's chief judge posted sexually explicit matter on his website

Alex Kozinski, who is presiding over an obscenity trial in L.A., acknowledges that he had posted sexually explicit photos and videos. He says he didn't think the public could access the site.

By Scott Glover
Los Angeles Times Staff Writer
12:28 PM CDT, June 11, 2008

One of the highest-ranking federal judges in the United States, who is currently presiding over an obscenity trial in Los Angeles, has maintained a publicly accessible website featuring sexually explicit photos and videos.

Alex Kozinski, chief judge of the U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals, acknowledged in an interview with The Times that he had posted the materials, which included a photo of naked women on all fours painted to look like cows and a video of a half-dressed man cavorting with a sexually aroused farm animal. Some of the material was inappropriate, he conceded, although he defended other sexually explicit content as "funny."

Kozinski, 57, said that he thought the site was for his private storage and that he was not aware the images could be seen by the public, although he also said he had shared some material on the site with friends. After the interview Tuesday evening, he blocked public access to the site.

Asked whether the contents of his site should force him to step aside from the pending obscenity trial, Kozinski declined to comment. Opening statements in the trial are scheduled for this morning. In the case, Ira Isaacs, a filmmaker based in Los Angeles, is accused of distributing criminally obscene sexual-fetish videos depicting bestiality and defecation.
( read more )

in today's chicago tribune

great line: He also said he planned to get rid of a graphic step-by-step pictorial in which a woman is seen shaving her pubic hair.

yesterday in chicago about 3pm
from the the chicago tribune

"Scala & Kolacny Brothers is a Belgian all-girl choir (age ranging from 16 to 26), conducted by the two Kolacny brothers, Stijn & Steven. Up to date, they have released 5 albums of ethereal, overly dramatic, haunting cover versions of many contemporary pop/alternative hits. I know this screams out 'novelty', but actually they're just awesome the way they are, you just don't have to take it so seriously."

the blower's daughter (damien rice)
with or without you (U2)
creep (radiohead)

check out this blog for more

i have a crush on you











and can't sleep

There is nothing more dreadful than imagination without taste.
~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)